No, I’m not talking about Dave Grohl; he went down awhile ago. I’m talking about Neil Gaiman. I didn’t know him, but I loved his stories. So much. Dearly.
An article about Neil Gaiman by Lila Shapiro hit the literary world like a bomb yesterday. It’s been published in Vulture and in New York Magazine. If you haven’t read it and feel so inclined, read this list of trigger warnings first. NOT RECOMMENDED if you have any history of abuse or trauma, or if you just ate.
Here is the article, both paywalled and not. Brace yourself.
Shapiro documented eight women who have accused Gaiman of some degree of gruesome abuse, sexual, mental, emotional, physical, economic. Some of it amounts to imprisonment and torture. His ex-wife Amanda Palmer is accused of being complicit in the abuse, of procuring victims for him.
Fantasy lovers were at ground zero in the article’s strike zone. Reactions on the microblogging platforms BlueSky, X. and Mastodon included the following:
- Nausea.
- Shock and horror.
- Inability to read the article or need to take breaks.
- Praise for the quality of the journalism and writing (whether readers got through it or not).
- Praise for the victims’ courage in coming forward despite having signed NDAs.
- Prayers and sympathy for the victims.
- Feelings of revictimization or being triggered; sensations associated with pain of past abuse.
- Overwhelm (“this article is a lot”).
- Feelings of betrayal.
- Warnings to others, whether TWs or “don’t read it.”
- Anger on the victims’ behalf, including OBO their child, toward Gaiman and Palmer.
- Anger at Scientology and Gaiman’s parents for traumatizing Gaiman in the first place.
- Calls for retribution, religious, legal, otherwise, against all abusers and enablers.
- Curses and other maledictions on the aforementioned.
- Questions about what to do with the works and adaptations of the artists responsible, with the usual social media race for the margins: I’m donating, well I’m throwing in the trash, well I’m having a bonfire. For adaptations, “I refuse to watch.” “Okay, maybe I’ll watch ‘Good Omens.’ since Pratchett was in on it.”
- Grief and mourning proportionate to the relationship or closeness to the perpetrator(s) or how much he/they and his/her works were loved.
- Attacks on the grieving, who apparently have no right to pause for even 24 hours before disavowing and pronouncing maledictions.
- Analysis of the works of the perpetrators to try to make sense of it all, including my BlueSky post ending with, “He’s Madoc (from “Sandman”) and on some level he wants retribution.”
- Denouncement of idolizing people: “That’s what I get for having a hero” or “This is why I have no heroes.”
- Summoning dead people whose work you can still revere (“We still have so-and-so”); hopes that associated beloved writers associated didn’t know about Gaiman’s character, so that they are innocent.
This being social media, there were attacks on other people on all of the platforms, aimed at those whose responses to the tragic allegations were seen as less than optimal, virtuous, or acceptable than the poster’s own POV.
How does one make sense of what Gaiman may have done to these women? He doesn’t deny most of it; he says it was consensual. There is no consent where massive power differentials exist, such as the ability to deprive someone of shelter or the employer/employee relationship where a much older man is wealthy and the young woman who supposedly consented is poor, so I am still left sickened at the sight of “Neverwhere” on my shelf if even a fraction of it is true.
As Eric O. Scott writes at Wild Hunt News:
One thing that strikes me even now is how even if one were to take Gaiman at his word, to assume that Pavlovich, Caroline, and the six other women who have accused Gaiman of assault are all embellishing their stories for publicity, one is still left with a man who thinks it’s possible to have “consent” with women whose choices are to either assent to sex or find themselves homeless. This is the version of the story he wants the world to believe. This is his best-case scenario.
How is it safe to love any work of art when it may be irredeemably tainted by association some day? We want to understand, we want to feel safe, we want to not feel like we were duped by a predator. How did we get it so wrong? We want to rescue and redeem what value we can salvage.
I don’t feel as though money was mentioned enough in the discussion. Roxane Gay had it right when she called out labor exploitation as well as sexual abuse on BlueSky.
Also, you smug folks who always knew: I didn’t know. There may be more to come, which fills me with dread. There are almost certainly more victims yet to come forward. I am writing my way through this, and then I don’t want to know more. I can’t think less of Gaiman, or Palmer, or Scientology. I praise those women in advance for their bravery. I hope, with everything I have, for their healing and peace.
It would be less easy to believe victims if abusers were not ALL THE SAME. It’s like Lady Gaga’s “box” analogy on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert in 2018, when she talked about Christine Blasey Ford and Judge Kavanaugh. Sometimes a survivor’s box where trauma has been stored opens, and the survivor is compelled to share it. And then some of us feel the truth of it in the marrow of our bones.
The same words, same tactics, and same actions, are in the “boxes” of all survivors. Different box, same old shit. Almost always men. They go by the same playbook. It’s wearying, exhausting, and enraging.
I won’t watch Season 2 of Sandman. And I was really looking forward to it. However, the part of Gaiman’s work that went into my heart and mind that felt good and right, and became part of me, I can’t expunge.
I wouldn’t if I could.
#NeilGaiman #AmandaPalmer #fantasy #abuse #LilaShapiro #Vulture #NewYorkMagazine #RoxaneGay #ladygaga
@jillminor 🫂🫂🫂 I don’t know why not many people are talking about this on Mastodon. I can only assume people here don’t want to delve in the depressingness of it all. I boosted Tanith Lee’s work in the wake of all of this as my own part to try to do something productive regarding this. Thank you for summarizing and the warnings and TWs.
Bring him and his ex wife to account took too long to do, this should have been done long time ago. It’s 2025 and Im disgusted ; all his victimes have been hurt and been without justice for too too long
@nikki @jillminor Nikki, I agree, Mastodon has been pretty quiet, which is odd given the bookstodon community and all of the artists. I’ll go look for Tanith Lee and boost. Thanks for reading and commenting.
@nikki @jillminor my Mastodon, and other social media, have been ablaze with discussion of it.
The cherry on top was when JKR decided to wade in with a "OMG why is nobody talking about this?" They are, honey, they've just got you blocked.
@klepsydra @jillminor I just noticed today that the Bookstodon a.gup.pe group is talking a lot about it! I edited my Tanisha boost post to include tagging that group. Are you part of it if I may ask Sandra?
@nikki @jillminor No; should I be?
I just saw a Tannith Lee mention by Martha Wells. Apparently there is an tribute anthology in the works? I have a feeling I’m about to get really into Tannith Lee.
@jillminor I canʼt believe I paid to buy his work all those years ago. A series of his paperbacks used a typeface family I designed for the covers, and he even thanked me. That was on my site for ages. I took it off after the first allegation. As more allegations surfaced, I felt more and more sickened by him.
I can’t believe he ever got any of my money either. Haven’t decided whether to scrub the old blogs here of any mention of him. Probably will.
@jillminor@jillsreads.com My mind, your words. Thanks for putting out what I’m unable to say.
I loved Mirrormask, and now I’m on the fence. Do I keep it and tell my niece when she’s older it was made by a monster and separating art from politics is something she’ll need to do from the start? Or is is easier to toss it in the trash and forget the tale that helped me with a difficult time with my own Mother? 😟😢😫
This hurts.
Miriam, It hurts SO MUCH. We will all get through it together.
@jillminor for a time in the 90s, I considered him a friend. I was a naive goth chick who managed a comics shop and looked like Death. He corresponded with me through email and referenced me on his blog. He sent me the things that were too racy for his website (like the Tijuana Bibles) to share instead on mine.
He stopped writing to me around the time he got involved with Amanda. I used to be sad I'd never met him. Now I see how I dodged a bullet.
He was one of my favourite writers and narrators, and now I feel filthy when I hear his voice and squicked when I think of his books.
Alice Munro was another of my favourite writers, and I feel betrayed when I think about her wrongs, too.
@Shanmonster @jillminor
Me too goth chick who looked like Death and published underground comix in the late 80s, early 90s.
Me too groomed by Neil. Except I tried to tell people then who he was, and pretty much got drummed out of comics. 32 years I've warned people. I feel very Cassandra about the whole thing.
And while my deepest empathy is extended towards his victims, I also feel so bad for his daughters. He dropped them like hot potatoes when he took up with Amanda, so I don't know how close they are anymore, but jesus reading that about your father would be soul breaking. I hope they never do. I sort of wish I hadn't.
@MissConstrue @jillminor I felt kinda like a long-distance auntie to Maddie. I hope she's ok. She was such a cool kid.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You did the right thing trying to warn people.